First Day

Monday was my first day back to work after being home for 12 weeks. Monday was also Griffin's first day at daycare. I started crying in the car on the way to the daycare. Then I had a little chat with myself that went something like this...

my head "get it together"

my heart " I am going to miss him so much"

my head "he will be fine"

my heart "what if he cries all day?"

my head " the girls in the infant room are great"

my heart "but I am going to miss him so much"

my head "stop crying, Sydney is going to notice and you are going to upset her"

By this time we are pulling into the parking lot so I get myself together and gather up all the stuff and walk into the infant room with both kids. We say good morning to Kyla and I start crying again. Oh well. Griffin did a great job. The girls agree with me that he is a very content baby and always talking and smiling. I did okay once I got to work, I was fine until one of my coworkers asked how I was doing. I am fortunate to be able to go the daycare at lunch to nurse so I get to see my baby mid day which helps A LOT!

I had a hard time when we started Sydney in daycare because I had to start her at a different place (for a few weeks) because we were still on the waiting list for Shepard's Way and I was not as comfortable with the daycare. Sydney did great and she was well cared for but as a mom you still feel guilt and fear about leaving your child in someone else's care. I went back to work just shy of 8 weeks after Sydney was born so she was younger than Griffin. I thought it would be easier with my second child but it has been harder. I think its harder this time because I am more attached due to being home a full 12 weeks with Griffin and also I have nursed him almost exclusively. With Sydney I had to supplement with formula from the beginning so she had more bottles and therefore other people feed her at times. I think the longest that I have been away from Griffin since he was born is 1 hour (except for this week). I just do not leave him. So we are transitioning and adjusting to our new routine. Bill and I are up at 5 to get ready and prep bottles, lunches and breakfast. Kids are up at 6 and we leave at 7 for daycare. Bill is a great help in the am and I am thankful that he can get ready for his day after we leave. Keep us in your prayers as we continue to adjust. Here is a picture of me and my little guy on his first day of daycare!